Teddy's Eulogies

I happened to see a few minutes of Teddy Kennedy's wake Friday night. Since I was exercising, it was difficult to avoid the several news channels all carrying the pity party.

Mostly, I avoided listening to any of the schmaltzy stories about Teddy's personality. How could anyone stand more than five minutes of that bilge?

But I noticed a few missing speakers.

Where were Mary Jo Kopechne's parents? Surely, everyone assembled to laud the long-time, unaccomplished dead Kennedy wanted to hear one of them speak, didn't they?

After all, Teddy's behavior in the infamous Chappaquiddick death probably constitutes the single best example of his character. He was responsible for the young woman's death in several ways, and managed to evade any legal consequence.

Typical Kennedy. Typical Teddy.

In fact, on Saturday night, as I again exercised in the evening, I saw CNN running some sort of videography of the last Kennedy to die. Here, again, Teddy's inconsequence beside the other males of his family was brought home quite clearly.

It's funny how that works. Not hearing any audio, and seeing only pictures from the 1930s and onwards, Teddy's tentative connection to and lack of any commonality with the rest of the Kennedy males, other than sharing their name, was clear.

His father, Joe, was an accomplished, if ruthless, businessman and quasi-politico. True, he also argued for appeasing Hitler and embarrassed the US at the Court of St. James just before and during WWII.

Teddy's older brother, Joe Jr., died courageously piloting a bomber on a dangerous mission involving experimentation with remote-controlling planes to be used as guided missiles. Though no wreckage was ever found of Joe Jr.'s plane, it's assumed that it accidentally exploded with Joe sill at the controls, a victim of the still-tricky use of radio signals to arm and pilot one plane from another.

Older brothers John and Bobby, of course, both served in the Navy. JFK saw combat and saved the crew of his sunken PT boat. Bobby enlisted in the reserves and served briefly as a commissioned officer.

Teddy, of course, did none of the above. Unaccomplished in business, he enlisted in the army, but his father's connections made sure he nevery saw action in Korea. Funny, isn't it, how George W. Bush was smeared, inaccurately, for missing action in Vietnam, while Teddy Kennedy got a pass for being in a US Army European HQ guard during the nasty Korean conflict.

He was caught cheating in college, and convicted of driving without a license while in law school.

Notionally his brother's campaign manager, Teddy gained none of the useful experience of earning one's living on one's own merits and wits. Instead, he simply went into the then 'family business' of politics. When JFK's Senate seat was up for grabs in 1962, Teddy ran for it and won, securing his life's one job.

Hardly a worthwhile life, is it? The runt of a large litter, not too bright, cheating at Harvard. Never even using his law degree. He simply ran in a safe election in a safe state for a US Senate seat, without any sort of life experience to bring to the office.

That was Teddy Kennedy- cheater, killer of a young woman without punishment, and long-serving Senator with no particular experience nor accomplishments to inform or add value to that office for 47 years.